u readers suggest a title 4 me...

stop saying don't show ur tantrum..when u say dat..how do u expect me to respond..i am already pissed off n annoyed and u expect me to put on a calm face, walk away and do as u say??? do u think i'm a robot or just a puppet?? u think i hav no emotions or feelings at all?? do u know how hard it is to fight back tears and just walk away? to take the step..to move a muscle when my mind is clouded by hatred and extreme annoyance..bcuz of u..now i would put on a poker face and act like i'm fine when i'm mad or sad in front of people..being fake is hard..made me feel like i'm lying to people..not showing wat i was feeling at dat moment..its hard 2 open up even to my closest and nicest friends..emotions..feelings build up..angry and sad especially..piling up..piling up...and now i'm a person with a lot of negative thoughts..i'm pessimistic..my heart is rotten...i hate this..i hate this..SHIT! tell me a good reason not to take that blade just right there beside me and slit my wrists rite now?? wats my reason to live?? family? they think i'm useless..i am useless..all i do is just sit around at home..lock myself up in the room in front of the laptop..next..friends? ouh..they're far away...my phone is always silent during the holidays...nex, boyfriend? none..the guy i like doesn't like me back..unrequited love..dats wat people are calling it..lets see..who else?? wat else?? now i just hate people lying to me..lies lies lies..u say u like me..yeah rite..u say dat to all the girls u set ur eyes ur eyes on..sumone said i'm ego..i'm not willing to accept sumone who so called syg me..huh..dats just BULLSHIT..stop saying dat to me..it's annoying..i hate it..stay away from me..i hate people making a fool out of me..i'm not an idiot..don't make me spit out bad words bcuz of u..i'm wasting my time and energy just thinking about it..stay away..i'm deleting u from my life..no matter how innocent u think u are..i'm not changing my mind..
i know i'm writing all these just bcuz i'm upset..yeah..i'm cooling down..i don't have anyone to share dis with..maybe i'll feel pathetic if i spill all of these to anyone..yeah..maybe..but i hav no other choice..i hav to write or type it all down..i hate doing this..but if don't do dis..i'm afraid i'm gonna snap..or worst..get insane..losing my mind is just one annoyance away if i don't let it out..if u're reading this..i know u people will start judging me..looking at me in a different way..but wat the hell..i'm doing this bcuz i want to..so shut up and just read..okayy dats a bit harsh..sory..