u readers suggest a title 4 me...

stop saying don't show ur tantrum..when u say dat..how do u expect me to respond..i am already pissed off n annoyed and u expect me to put on a calm face, walk away and do as u say??? do u think i'm a robot or just a puppet?? u think i hav no emotions or feelings at all?? do u know how hard it is to fight back tears and just walk away? to take the step..to move a muscle when my mind is clouded by hatred and extreme annoyance..bcuz of u..now i would put on a poker face and act like i'm fine when i'm mad or sad in front of people..being fake is hard..made me feel like i'm lying to people..not showing wat i was feeling at dat moment..its hard 2 open up even to my closest and nicest friends..emotions..feelings build up..angry and sad especially..piling up..piling up...and now i'm a person with a lot of negative thoughts..i'm pessimistic..my heart is rotten...i hate this..i hate this..SHIT! tell me a good reason not to take that blade just right there beside me and slit my wrists rite now?? wats my reason to live?? family? they think i'm useless..i am useless..all i do is just sit around at home..lock myself up in the room in front of the laptop..next..friends? ouh..they're far away...my phone is always silent during the holidays...nex, boyfriend? none..the guy i like doesn't like me back..unrequited love..dats wat people are calling it..lets see..who else?? wat else?? now i just hate people lying to me..lies lies lies..u say u like me..yeah rite..u say dat to all the girls u set ur eyes ur eyes on..sumone said i'm ego..i'm not willing to accept sumone who so called syg me..huh..dats just BULLSHIT..stop saying dat to me..it's annoying..i hate it..stay away from me..i hate people making a fool out of me..i'm not an idiot..don't make me spit out bad words bcuz of u..i'm wasting my time and energy just thinking about it..stay away..i'm deleting u from my life..no matter how innocent u think u are..i'm not changing my mind..
i know i'm writing all these just bcuz i'm upset..yeah..i'm cooling down..i don't have anyone to share dis with..maybe i'll feel pathetic if i spill all of these to anyone..yeah..maybe..but i hav no other choice..i hav to write or type it all down..i hate doing this..but if don't do dis..i'm afraid i'm gonna snap..or worst..get insane..losing my mind is just one annoyance away if i don't let it out..if u're reading this..i know u people will start judging me..looking at me in a different way..but wat the hell..i'm doing this bcuz i want to..so shut up and just read..okayy dats a bit harsh..sory..

my exam schedule..ikut2 ms mui2..eheh..

iklan jap during chemical oceanography lab...wahahaha!!

-20th Apr-
Basic Chem! yah mmg basic..basic of physical chem, organic chem..suma masuk! adidi..

-22nd Apr-
Bahasa Mandarin..hmmm...ni susa part Hanzi (chinese characters)..mmg cramp tgn trus menulis..wakaka

-24th Apr-
Pengenalan Marikultur..hmm..this one ble thn la..not too easy..not 2 difficult..

-25th Apr-
Renang! ujian bertulis..siap ada essay lg..argh! camana mau jawab ni?

-29th Apr-
Hbgn etnik a.k.a. Sejarah..haha..spm all over again..cipta sejarah sndri..ngiahaha~

-5th May-
Asas Pelayaran & Kepelautan..the practical was a load of fun! hope can do well in this exam..AA! *wink2*

-6th May-
Pengenalan Oseanografi Kimia..huh..dis one..err...errr...got some topics dats a bit difficult..watever~

-7th May-
Bhs & Komunikasi..both lecturer & lecture's are bery2 interesting & fun! weee~

-8th May-
Pengaturcaraan Komputer & Simulasi..*scratches head* most difficult off all the sbjtcs I'm taking this sem! huwaaa...

wokey..3 weeks of exam to go and then i'll be freeeee..free as a bird! yippie! 2months++ of holiday!! ngee..so wish me luck! =P
~au revoir~

What does my birthday say about me?

Here's what it says:

• Has a lot of ideas. *more to crazy ideas*
  
• Difficult to fathom.*yeah..sumtymes*
• Thinks forward. *to cheer myself up*
  
• Unique and brilliant
• Extraordinary ideas.*again..more 2 crazy ideas*
  
• Sharp thinking.
• Fine and strong clairvoyance.
• Can become good doctors. *yeah right*
  
• Dynamic in personality.
• Secretive. *yep!*
  
• Inquisitive.
• Knows how to dig secrets.*muahaha..beware~~*
  
• Always thinking.
• Less talkative butamiable. *yep!*
  
• Brave and generous.
• Patient.
• Stubborn and hard-hearted.*agree 100%*
  
• If there is a will, there is a way.
• Determined.
• Never give up.
• Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. *dis is right so jan cari psl*
  
• Loves to be alone.*sumtymes*
• Thinks differently from others.
• Sharp-minded.
• Motivates oneself.
• Does not appreciate praises. *uih..ira mnta pujik meh* =P
  
• High-spirited.
• Well-built and tough. *xcuze moi?*
  
• Deep love and emotions.
• Romantic. *haha!*
  
• Uncertain inrelationships.*yesss*
• Homely.
• Hardworking.
• High abilities.
• Trustworthy.
• Honest and keeps secrets. *ur secrets r safe with me*
  
• Not able to control emotions.*yeah*
• Unpredictable

well..now u know a lil bit more bout me!!
aiseh..hehehe..
will continue more about the camp laterrrr~~
=)

~au revoir~

best camp of my life!

yes it was the most fun, exciting, superb and the BEST camp! still remember it like it was yesterday *exaggerating* hehehehe..
-First day-
as i arrived at the destination which was Odec, UMS..my fren Oly and AA *butterflies in stomach* were already setting up the tents..so i got out of the car, grabbed my luggage and walked straight to the boathouse. breakfast was already served specially prepared by Abg Bujang...who knew man can cook so well? eheh...while eating i managed to take a peek at AA while he was setting up the tents..ahh..so cuteee....wahahaha
ok2..snap out of it! ehem2..as i was saying..after all of my classmates arrived and had their breakfast, we were separated into 6 groups (i was in group 4). group 1,3 and 5 headed to the jetty to practice tossing the lifebuoy and jumping off the jetty, while group 2,4 and 6 gathered at the 'landasan?'. AA had 2 go join the group 1,3 and 5. huwaaaa....
so we waited for the boat 2 go into the water and group 2 boarded 1st and off they go! we watched from afar and saw the group 2 members jump off the boat 1 by one in the middle of the sea! yikes! *getting nervous*
next is our turn..we got on the boat...thennn..abg bujang asked "what do you do when a person fell overboard?'..and the answer is...shout "man-overboard" as loud as u can to alert the captain and the crews ...and wat did we do nex? jump off the boat la..wat else? good thing we were wearing lifejackets..phew...
after we jumped off the boat, we were left out there for about 15 minutes..a bit scary but fun! woohooo!!! us group 4 just laugh and laugh while waiting 2 be fetched..hehe
after we were done with man-overboard practise, we went 2 the jetty as we were switching tasks with the other groups..AA was at the jetty! yay!! as we got nearer 2 the end of the jetty...sumthin happened....

~to be continued as i am getting REALLY2 sleepy...later!~ =P

men do look good in uniforms..seriously.. =P

ehem2..it's been a while since i've written nonsensical stuff on this blog..ngiahaha!
ok2..on March 3rd 2009, we, the 1st year marine science students gained experience of visiting a navy & maritime ship..weee~~
the navy ship was huge!! and full of good-looking men in white uniforms..huhu..it was heaven i tell ya..and not forgetting..i get to 'cuci mata' cuz AA was there..hehe..only certain people know bout this.. *winkwink*
while on board..1stly we were given an introductory briefing on the navy vessel, KD Pahang. after dat we were separated into 3 groups *AA was in my group too!*..and off we go touring the ship..we went to the bridge, front deck and the CIC(Combat Information Centre)..took some pictures also..
then after finish touring the navy ship..it was group photo session time! smile,snap! smile,snap! smile,snap! done! and off to the next ship..the maritime vessel!
the maritime vessel was a bit smaller than the navy vessel..and not forgetting old-fashioned since it was made in 1984..huhu..but it used to be a navy vessel so there was a 57mm cannon..
overall it was a load of fun!! i can't wait for another field trip with the others!
hmmm..so little time, so MUCH to do..assignments+midterms=argh!
till then..
~zaijian~

Tagging-menagging~~

feefa told me to do this tagging thing..kinda fun..hehehe =)


1. Snap the picture of both inner and outer of your purse
2. Introduce your purse brand,price and where you buy
3. Take out what ever its inside your purse

4. Tagged other 7 person

2.Elle, price RM189, papa bought it somewhere in KL..dunno where exactly..eheh

3.erm..wats inside..

• plaster
• beBlack membership card
• Sutera Harbour membership card
• Yogurberry coupon
• bloodtype card
• got some coins
• heh..just look at the pic la to see wats inside...
  

IC, student card & lesen P was in the studentcard holder

4. now lemme see..who am I gonna tag..

• feefa!
• sherhan
• irfaan
• zeeqa
• amoi
• hannah
• sis Nadz

done tagging! phew..okay till then..

~~au revoir~~

Rise of The Magnificient Ira! (tiru dari Underworld 3) =P

okay...yuran..done! lesen..done! phewww...dats a relief...freedom at last....not!

ehehe..must not forget the assignments...which are pilling up..like Mt. Everest..owh man~~

hahaha..but nvm..this is university life..assignments is a must! so watever~

huuuu..but i'm really excited about swimming class!! we get to learn all sorts of swimming..err..styles??? freestyle, breaststroke, bubbling etc..keh3

then..for the subject Basic Navigation & Seamenship..we have to do a practical+camp! yay! but the lecturer said during the practical we have to jump into the sea..in the middle of the night..yikes! freezing water+sharks? huhu..hope it would go smoothly..*amin!*

and not forgetting..Marine Night! which would be held on 28th March..woah dats a long way to go. but theres still the excitement feeling..the theme on dat nite would be Hawaiian. okay..wats am i supposed to wear? help! any suggestions 4 me? huhu

okay..gotta go finish up my assignments+homework+study..ehehe..if papa finds out dat i'm blogging right now, i'm dead meat!! no0o0o0~~

till then..

~au revoir~  

*above are peektures from Kasih Sayang Resort